Weddings rarely come with three months notice. And yet the issue regularly ends up as a conflict in HR: Employees assume that they are automatically entitled to paid special leave upon their marriage. Leaders say yes because that's the way it should be. And no one looks at the employment contract beforehand.
What is often underestimated is that special leave is not just an “HR issue,” but a real cost factor. Each individual decision generates queries, reconciliations and corrections. In many companies, a single special vacation quickly costs 30 to 60 minutes of HR and payroll time. And if absences are booked incorrectly, the effort is not only annoying, but potentially relevant to the audit.
The result: unequal treatment within the team, subsequent payroll corrections and, in the worst case, complaints that could have been avoided. Contrary to popular belief, there is no uniform legal entitlement to special leave in the event of a wedding in Germany. What applies depends on the contract, collective bargaining and internal regulations. And that is exactly what very few people involved know.
This article clarifies what actually applies legally, which days are realistic, how companies establish fair and documentable rules, and why manual processes regularly fail here.
Special Leave at a Wedding: What Really Counts as a “Claim”?
The term “special leave” sounds like a legal guarantee. But he isn't. Special leave is paid leave for a special occasion which is granted in addition to regular annual leave and does not reduce it.
The decisive factor: Special leave is not an independent vacation entitlement within the meaning of the Federal Vacation Act. It only exists in a legally secure manner if it is contractually, collectively or operationally agreed. Anyone who makes ad hoc decisions as an employer, without a written basis, risks setting precedents that bind the company in the long term.
A typical problem in practice: Person A gets two days off from their wedding because their immediate superior is accommodating. Person B in the same department doesn't get anything because their manager is stricter. They both have the same employment relationship. These leads to conflicts that are difficult to explain. And even if companies have a rule, the next problem arises: If the rule is not properly documented and displayed in the system, it is not consistently applied in everyday life. This is exactly where the topic flips from “fair HR policy” to “chaos in implementation.”
It is important for HR and payroll to distinguish special leave at a wedding from regular vacation leave, because both types of absences are documented, approved and settled differently. Anyone who mixes them has a problem at the latest with the annual financial statements or as part of a payroll tax audit.
Legal basis: Section 616 BGB explained in an understandable way
The only legal basis that employees could rely on is SECTION 616 BGB. The paragraph states that an employee does not lose his claim for compensation if he is prevented from performing his work for a relatively short period of time due to a reason within him without fault on him.
That sounds like a property right. In practice, however, Section 616 BGB is exactly the point at which special leave for weddings escalates. This is because many employees assume that this is automatic, while HR must check whether the paragraph is effective at all in case of doubt. This leads to discussions, delays and frustration, even though it is actually a positive occasion. Because:
“Relatively short time” is not defined. In the past, courts considered one day to be sufficient at their own wedding. More is not automatically owed.
Section 616 BGB is indicative. This means that it can be completely excluded by an employment contract, collective agreement or works agreement. According to the specialist portal Arbeitsrechte.de Is such an exclusion widespread in modern employment contracts, often in small print under “Exclusion of Section 616 BGB.”
Family weddings are usually excluded. In the case of marriage of daughter, son, brother or sister, there is typically no case of Section 616 BGB, as the prevention does not lie “in the person of the employee” but has an external cause.
What happens if there is no regulation?
If neither contract nor tariff nor works agreement say anything about the subject and Section 616 BGB is not ruled out, the employee can actually demand paid time off for their own wedding. How many days that is unclear and, in the event of a dispute, must be clarified by labor courts. This costs both sides time and money.
Special leave for your own marriage: How many days are usual?
Clear statement in advance: There is no federal standard that prescribes “1 day” or “2 days.” The practice is based on collective agreements and company regulations.
What is common in practice:
- Own wedding (civil): 1 day, in many collective agreements i.e. 2 days
- Church Marriage in Addition to Civil Marriage: In Most Cases, No Further Claim, as the Marriage Has Already Taken Place Legally
- TVöD (public service): Specifically 1 day with your own marriage in accordance with § 29 TVöD
In practice, this means that companies should consciously set a clear line that is both fair and organizationally feasible. Because as soon as special leave becomes “perceived generosity,” expectations arise that can hardly be turned back later.
Important for HR: If both ceremonies take place on different days and only one of them is a working day, there is usually only one working day. A church wedding on Saturday does not create an exemption claim for the Monday after.
If the wedding falls on a Saturday, Sunday or public holiday, there is usually no claim for compensation for another working day. This is surprising for many employees and should be communicated proactively.
Special leave “by law”: The most common misconception
In Germany, there is no uniform detailed legal regulation on the duration of special leave in the event of a wedding.
What is actually decisive is the following test flow:
Step 1: Review the employment contract. Is Section 616 BGB excluded? Is there an explicit special leave rule? If yes, the text of the contract applies.
Step 2: Check the collective agreement. Is the company bound by tariff agreements (e.g. TVöD, TVL, industry-specific tariffs)? Tariff standards then apply, often more favourable for employees.
Step 3: Review the operating agreement. Is there a works council and a works agreement on absences or special leave? This basis is then binding.
Step 4: Check operational exercise. Has the company systematically granted special wedding leave for years without clear regulations? This can become an “operational exercise” and be legally binding. An underestimated risk.
Anyone who hasn't clearly documented any of these steps is in the grey area. And it is precisely this grey area that is the reason why special leave so often “gets stuck between HR, manager and payroll.” Not because the topic is complicated, but because information is scattered: contract in PDF, policy in the intranet, approval by email, proof as a scan in the mailbox.
And it is precisely these grey areas that cost: administrative time for individual decisions, displeasure due to perceived unequal treatment, in extreme cases legal disputes.
Special Leave for the Wedding of Daughter, Son, Brother, Sister, Parents
This is where the biggest potential for misunderstanding lies. Many employees assume that they can also apply for special leave for the wedding of close relatives. The reality is more differentiated.
Marriage of your own children (daughter/son): Legally no claim under Section 616 BGB, as it is not based on the person of the employee. Some Collective Agreements (e.g. in the Metal or Chemical Industry) grant 1 day here. Without a collective agreement or works agreement, it is at the discretion of the employer.
Marriage of Siblings (Brother/Sister): No legal claim. In practice, special leave is rarely granted here. Anyone who expresses their wish is dependent on goodwill or appropriate operational regulations.
Parents' wedding: Regulated extremely rarely. There is no legal or tariff standard here. If anything, this involves regular vacation or unpaid time off.
The following applies to HR Managers: Clear policy protects against arbitrariness and loss of trust. Anyone who defines in the employee handbook which family weddings (if any) trigger exemption claims avoids escalations.
It becomes particularly critical when employees only learn after the rejection that there is no rule for this. The decision then quickly comes across as personal or unfair, even though it is factually correct. A short, clearly communicated rule in the employee handbook prevents exactly this unnecessary escalation.
Special Leave for the Silver Wedding Anniversary: When is that realistic?
The Silver Wedding Anniversary, the 25th Wedding Anniversary, is an occasion when many intuitively think of a special vacation. The legal classification is clear: There is no legal entitlement to special leave for one's own silver wedding anniversary or for the parents' silver wedding anniversary.
Some older collective agreements, particularly in the public sector and certain industrial sectors, have included such regulations. Current, widespread collective agreements such as TVöD do not provide for any explicit claim for this.
Anyone who wants to set an example for their long-standing workforce can regulate this as a voluntary benefit, but should clearly declare it as a gesture of goodwill and not communicate it as a legal obligation. Otherwise, an operational exercise is quickly created, which can later become legally binding. That is precisely why such special cases should either be clearly ruled out or properly documented as a voluntary individual decision.
Application, proof, documentation: This is how companies make it fair and verifiable
Three scenarios of how things work in practice
Scenario 1: Agency with 60 employees and project deadlines
A designer is requesting two days of special leave for her wedding, via Slack message to her team leader. The team leader verbally agrees, enters it in the team calendar, but forgets to inform HR. Payroll accounts the days as regular vacation. Result: Wrong absence type, incorrect vacation balance, subsequent correction.
This would not have happened with a clear absence type of “special leave” in the system, a separate approval workflow and an obligation to provide proof (marriage certificate). The absence management in ZEP, it is possible to define exactly such specific absence types, including the approval process and document storage.
Scenario 2: IT service provider with 120 employees and heterogeneous contractual relationships
50 employees have older contracts without the exclusion of Section 616 BGB. 70 have new contracts with an exclusion clause. HR processes every special leave request manually, searches for the respective contract version and makes decisions on a case-by-case basis. This costs an average of 30 to 45 minutes per application.
A uniform policy, stored in the HR system, reduces this to an automated check: Contract Category → Policy Rule → Approval or Rejection with Reason. More transparent for everyone, more efficient for HR.
Extrapolated to just 10 special leave requests per year, this is already several hours of HR time that does not generate any strategic added value. And it is precisely this time that is missing when it comes to recruiting, personnel development or employer branding.
Scenario 3: Craft Business with Shift and Tour Planning
A Fitter Wants to Take a Day Off from His Son's Wedding He brings this up in the short term. Without clear rules, the disposition improvises. A tour transfer is organized ad hoc; the cancellation is poorly planned.
If the company had clearly defined: “When children marry: no special leave, but preferential vacation granting with early notice,” planning would be easier. And the employee would know where they stood right from the start.
Step-by-Step: Managing Special Leave in a Legally Secure Man
- Set the policy in writing: Which events trigger special holidays for you? Own Wedding: Yes, How Many Days? Family weddings: yes/no/subject to change? Important: A policy alone will not solve the problem if it is not visible and applicable in everyday life. It is crucial that employees can select the correct type of absence and that managers are automatically guided through a standardized approval process.
- Standard contract check: Is Section 616 BGB excluded in your contracts? Are all contract generations covered?
- Set up an absence type in the system: Special leave as a separate category, separated from recreational leave and illness, with its own approval process.
- Define proof: What are you asking for? Marriage certificate, civil certificate? When does it have to be submitted?
- Standardised communication: Employees should be informed about the policy in the onboarding or employee handbook, not only when the application has already been processed.
Checklist: Is your special vacation policy suitable for weddings?
Must (basic requirements):
- Written definition: What applies to your own wedding?
- Clarification of Section 616 BGB: Excluded or not?
- Documentation requirement: Evidence and filing regulated?
Should (Advanced Requirements):
- Regulated Family Weddings (Children, Siblings, Parents)?
- Is the absence type correctly configured in the HR system?
- Approval workflow defined?
Can (optimal requirements):
- Policy text module in the employee handbook?
- FAQ available for employees on the intranet?
- Evaluation possible per type of absence (important for payroll auditing, HR controlling and internal fairness analyses)?
Documentation & process: Why Excel and email aren't enough
HR teams report that absence management costs a disproportionate amount of time for special events such as weddings: Application is sent by email, approval is returned by email, proof is sent by scan, payroll is notified manually. Four process steps, four sources of error and, in the end, often no clean documentation that is verifiably comprehensible in case of doubt.
The digital vacation application Reduces this to a workflow: employee submits an application to the system, selects absence type “special leave”, uploads proof. Supervisor approves digitally. HR and Payroll automatically see the correct absence type. No loss of information, no subsequent corrections.
The following applies to every HR system: Absences are process-wise when they are configured as separate types, correctly approved and documented in an audit-proof manner. This is simply not feasible with spreadsheets as soon as employees and events increase.
Why special leave rules still fail without an HR system
Even if a policy is clearly formulated, it is often not consistently implemented in everyday life. The reason: Managers make different decisions, employees choose the wrong type of absence, documents end up in the mailbox instead of in the personnel file and payroll is corrected afterwards.
A digital system reduces these sources of error because the process is standardized: Application, Approval, Proof and Documentation come together in one place.
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Conclusion: 5-point checklist for fair wedding special vacation rules
No legal automatism, no standard solution for everyone, but clear options for action:
- Section 616 Check BGB status: In all current contracts. Excluded or not?
- Set the policy in writing: Define your own wedding, loved ones, silver wedding separately.
- Set up absence types correctly: Special leave ≠ recreational leave ≠ unpaid leave.
- Standardize the verification process: What is submitted and when? Who checks?
- Digitally document: Every special leave case must be recorded in an audit-proof manner, without additional costs for HR.
Companies that have set this up cleanly once save one hour of HR effort per wedding. Extrapolated to a growing workforce, this is no small amount.
FAQs
Do I have special legal leave for my own wedding?
There is no uniform legal entitlement to special leave in the event of a wedding in Germany. Section 616 BGB could theoretically serve as a basis, but is excluded in many employment contracts. What applies is stated in the employment contract, collective agreement or works agreement.
How many days of special leave do I get when I get married?
In practice, 1 to 2 days are usual. TVöD grants 1 day. A church wedding in addition to a civil marriage usually does not create any further claim, especially if it takes place on a weekend.
Will I get special leave if my daughter or son gets married?
There is no legal claim here. Some collective agreements regulate this with 1 day. Without a collective or company agreement, the decision lies with the employer, who should act within the framework of a clear policy.
Is there special leave when siblings marry?
Not usually. Neither Section 616 BGB nor most collective agreements provide for this. The exemption then takes the form of regular vacation or unpaid leave at goodwill level.
Can the employer simply exclude § 616 BGB?
Yes. Section 616 BGB is disposable, i.e. it can be restricted or completely excluded by an employment contract, collective agreement or works agreement. This is often the case in practice.
Is special leave deducted from regular vacation?
No Special leave is an additional paid leave which does not reduce the annual vacation entitlement under BURLG, provided that it is identified as special leave and is correctly documented. The correct type of absence in the system is therefore crucial.
